I've always struggled with severe anxiety and depression but have managed with meds and other coping mechanisms. I've been going through a tough time for the last few of weeks with a resurgence of "could care less" and wanting to hide under the covers and sleep all day.
Every year for the last 5+, I get a medication-resistant depression/anxiety spell that lasts from August - November. It is not SAD, as I don't have this messiness in the middle of winter. I started meds last year to work on treating this specific type of depression and it has helped dramatically until now (the end of September).
There are several factors that have changed in my life recently (last few months) that could easily contribute to my feelings.
1) my husband is living in another state for a job
2) I'm on a new med (switched from effexor to cymbalta)
3) I can't stand meat - I'm completely grossed out by it
4) I'm more sensitive (empathic) since switching meds (this issue went away with effexor)
5) two of my husband's immediate family members died during the summer and now my grandfather is dying
I am irritable, exhausted, unfocused, am not eating right (though I take my vitamins), don't sleep well (worse than usual), want to cry, don't want to do anything I don't have to (including waiting as long as possible to do laundry, food shopping, cleaning the house, and other essentials), and don't want to reach out to anyone. I've also been having horrible dreams this week.
The authors of a recently published letter (PDF is on the EDNF.org web site) in response to an article on depression symptoms, states that virtually every symptom described in the article is also present in EDS. Yes, there is a higher prevalence of depression and anxiety in people with chronic pain, as well as those with family members diagnosed with depression. I'm 90% sure I've inherited my EDS from both sides of my family, and those with the stronger EDS symptoms are the ones with worse depression (or vice versa - chicken and egg hypothesis).While the published letter gave me so much hope because the psychiatry field is hopefully going to recognize EDS some day, it doesn't help me in this moment.
I am super anxious about my medication. I sent my prescription to a mail-in service (NextRx) and have been given notice that the meds are in the mail. However, I am now officially out of meds as of today and it's Friday. I am freaking out about the possibility of going through the whole weekend without meds, if they are not in today's mail! I just called my Psych MD and found out she is not in the office on Fridays and will not be able to call in a script for only 4 days of meds until Monday. Those who take any long-term drugs like this know we can't just stop taking them. A co-worker suggested I call back and ask for the physician on call who might be able to help. The receptionist I originally got was basically treating me like "so what?" I don't think she's ever been on medication or else she would not have responded to me with such attitude.
I got an idea just now. I think I'll call my regular MD to see if she can call in meds for me! Ah, that would ease my mind. She knows I am not crazy and am not a drug-seeker.
Hopefully this depression will end soon. I haven't seen my husband in two weeks but he surprised me yesterday by telling me he is coming home tonight!
I am not a good diary keeper, but blogging seems to be helpful. It is a bit strange that I can put things out there to complete strangers. Thank you for listening.
May you have a bright and lovely day.