I'm not sure I've ever taken New Year's resolutions seriously since the joke is that they are always broken. However, I publicly stated two last year and actually achieved one of them, to my surprise!
I planned to get my pain levels under control and succeeded. It's been several months since my last serious post but I know I blogged about my stress over switching pain medications (click here). This change was one of the best decisions I've made in a long time though. I can say that my pain is generally now ~2-4 on the pain scale on a daily basis. Of course I have my days, my injuries, and seasonal/hormonal issues that impact my general well-being, but I feel more in control of my life and less anxious about long painful days.
Hooray!!!
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, October 2, 2009
Anxious and depressed
I've always struggled with severe anxiety and depression but have managed with meds and other coping mechanisms. I've been going through a tough time for the last few of weeks with a resurgence of "could care less" and wanting to hide under the covers and sleep all day.
Every year for the last 5+, I get a medication-resistant depression/anxiety spell that lasts from August - November. It is not SAD, as I don't have this messiness in the middle of winter. I started meds last year to work on treating this specific type of depression and it has helped dramatically until now (the end of September).
There are several factors that have changed in my life recently (last few months) that could easily contribute to my feelings.
1) my husband is living in another state for a job
2) I'm on a new med (switched from effexor to cymbalta)
3) I can't stand meat - I'm completely grossed out by it
4) I'm more sensitive (empathic) since switching meds (this issue went away with effexor)
5) two of my husband's immediate family members died during the summer and now my grandfather is dying
I am irritable, exhausted, unfocused, am not eating right (though I take my vitamins), don't sleep well (worse than usual), want to cry, don't want to do anything I don't have to (including waiting as long as possible to do laundry, food shopping, cleaning the house, and other essentials), and don't want to reach out to anyone. I've also been having horrible dreams this week.
The authors of a recently published letter (PDF is on the EDNF.org web site) in response to an article on depression symptoms, states that virtually every symptom described in the article is also present in EDS. Yes, there is a higher prevalence of depression and anxiety in people with chronic pain, as well as those with family members diagnosed with depression. I'm 90% sure I've inherited my EDS from both sides of my family, and those with the stronger EDS symptoms are the ones with worse depression (or vice versa - chicken and egg hypothesis).While the published letter gave me so much hope because the psychiatry field is hopefully going to recognize EDS some day, it doesn't help me in this moment.
I am super anxious about my medication. I sent my prescription to a mail-in service (NextRx) and have been given notice that the meds are in the mail. However, I am now officially out of meds as of today and it's Friday. I am freaking out about the possibility of going through the whole weekend without meds, if they are not in today's mail! I just called my Psych MD and found out she is not in the office on Fridays and will not be able to call in a script for only 4 days of meds until Monday. Those who take any long-term drugs like this know we can't just stop taking them. A co-worker suggested I call back and ask for the physician on call who might be able to help. The receptionist I originally got was basically treating me like "so what?" I don't think she's ever been on medication or else she would not have responded to me with such attitude.
I got an idea just now. I think I'll call my regular MD to see if she can call in meds for me! Ah, that would ease my mind. She knows I am not crazy and am not a drug-seeker.
Hopefully this depression will end soon. I haven't seen my husband in two weeks but he surprised me yesterday by telling me he is coming home tonight!
I am not a good diary keeper, but blogging seems to be helpful. It is a bit strange that I can put things out there to complete strangers. Thank you for listening.
May you have a bright and lovely day.
Every year for the last 5+, I get a medication-resistant depression/anxiety spell that lasts from August - November. It is not SAD, as I don't have this messiness in the middle of winter. I started meds last year to work on treating this specific type of depression and it has helped dramatically until now (the end of September).
There are several factors that have changed in my life recently (last few months) that could easily contribute to my feelings.
1) my husband is living in another state for a job
2) I'm on a new med (switched from effexor to cymbalta)
3) I can't stand meat - I'm completely grossed out by it
4) I'm more sensitive (empathic) since switching meds (this issue went away with effexor)
5) two of my husband's immediate family members died during the summer and now my grandfather is dying
I am irritable, exhausted, unfocused, am not eating right (though I take my vitamins), don't sleep well (worse than usual), want to cry, don't want to do anything I don't have to (including waiting as long as possible to do laundry, food shopping, cleaning the house, and other essentials), and don't want to reach out to anyone. I've also been having horrible dreams this week.
The authors of a recently published letter (PDF is on the EDNF.org web site) in response to an article on depression symptoms, states that virtually every symptom described in the article is also present in EDS. Yes, there is a higher prevalence of depression and anxiety in people with chronic pain, as well as those with family members diagnosed with depression. I'm 90% sure I've inherited my EDS from both sides of my family, and those with the stronger EDS symptoms are the ones with worse depression (or vice versa - chicken and egg hypothesis).While the published letter gave me so much hope because the psychiatry field is hopefully going to recognize EDS some day, it doesn't help me in this moment.
I am super anxious about my medication. I sent my prescription to a mail-in service (NextRx) and have been given notice that the meds are in the mail. However, I am now officially out of meds as of today and it's Friday. I am freaking out about the possibility of going through the whole weekend without meds, if they are not in today's mail! I just called my Psych MD and found out she is not in the office on Fridays and will not be able to call in a script for only 4 days of meds until Monday. Those who take any long-term drugs like this know we can't just stop taking them. A co-worker suggested I call back and ask for the physician on call who might be able to help. The receptionist I originally got was basically treating me like "so what?" I don't think she's ever been on medication or else she would not have responded to me with such attitude.
I got an idea just now. I think I'll call my regular MD to see if she can call in meds for me! Ah, that would ease my mind. She knows I am not crazy and am not a drug-seeker.
Hopefully this depression will end soon. I haven't seen my husband in two weeks but he surprised me yesterday by telling me he is coming home tonight!
I am not a good diary keeper, but blogging seems to be helpful. It is a bit strange that I can put things out there to complete strangers. Thank you for listening.
May you have a bright and lovely day.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
can't sleep and pregnant kitty
I've been lying in bed since 8:30pm trying to sleep (very tired). My legs and feet have hurt all day and nothing has been helping - can't get comfy. I think I overstretched something in PT on Friday. :( I'm hoping a solid dose of my pain meds will knock me out soon.
Another thing that is keeping me up is thoughts of an abandoned(?) kitty that's made my backyard her home for the last week or so. I figured out yesterday that she is pregnant. She is a tiny Siamese. She'll let me get pretty close but won't let me touch her. She used to hop the 6' fence in my backyard but she is too big now to do so. She's been starving and I feel terrible that I didn't realize this sooner. I put some food, water, makeshift catbox (she is housetrained), and a "bed" on my back patio where she's been sleeping. She is responsive to my efforts in this respect.
It's been really hot here for the last few days, which doesn't help my worrying. She's clearly uncomfortable and the movements in her belly are big enough to think that she'll have the kittens soon. She's tried to get into my house, with success, yesterday. She appreciated the AC and seemed more comfortable physically. I left the door open for her today and she didn't want to leave. I have a cat already and keeping them apart is very difficult. Since I don't know anything about this cat, I don't want to get my cat sick. I thought the kitty had left my house but, hours later, I discovered she had been hiding under the couch (she camouflages well!). My friend and I shooed her out of the house out of concern for my own cat's comfort/health.
I've knocked on doors around the neighborhood to see if anyone is looking for her, but I've had no success. My concern is that she is from one of two neighbors that treat their animals poorly. The fact that she is pregnant is one indication that they've slacked off on good care.
Do I leave the cat outside and hope that she'll feel comfortable enough to have her kittens in the box I made (cardboard box with towel inside and "windows" cut into the sides for airflow and for lookout)? I can't catch her, so should I try trapping her and then isolate her in a room in my house? Do I call the county shelter to come pick her up? Neighbors I was able to speak with today, who live on either side of the "irresponsible" ones with lots of animals, said that they would not trust them to take care of a pregnant cat. The people who I think possibly own the cat, did not respond to my knock even though I could tell they were home. I did not look like a solicitor for sure. I don't want to come off as judgmental but I have a really sensitive heart when it comes to animals and mistreatment.
Oddly enough, I've been praying for strength to go into the local shelter to adopt an adult cat as a companion to my cat. Do I take this cat in? Is it wrong, especially if no one claims her? I'd get her neutered as soon as possible, and find good homes for the kittens (hopefully neuter them too beforehand). If I can catch her, I'd definitely bring her to the vet as soon as possible to check her health, see if she has a microchip, get her neutered, and update shots as needed. I don't think she's ever been to the vet (was just a kitten herself a year ago). I'd feel better letting her go if I know she can't have more kittens and is healthy.
Anyone with advice is welcome to respond. I am really torn on what to do.
Thanks. I'm going to try bed again now that I've gotten the kitty issue off my mind for now.
TTFN,
~e
Another thing that is keeping me up is thoughts of an abandoned(?) kitty that's made my backyard her home for the last week or so. I figured out yesterday that she is pregnant. She is a tiny Siamese. She'll let me get pretty close but won't let me touch her. She used to hop the 6' fence in my backyard but she is too big now to do so. She's been starving and I feel terrible that I didn't realize this sooner. I put some food, water, makeshift catbox (she is housetrained), and a "bed" on my back patio where she's been sleeping. She is responsive to my efforts in this respect.
It's been really hot here for the last few days, which doesn't help my worrying. She's clearly uncomfortable and the movements in her belly are big enough to think that she'll have the kittens soon. She's tried to get into my house, with success, yesterday. She appreciated the AC and seemed more comfortable physically. I left the door open for her today and she didn't want to leave. I have a cat already and keeping them apart is very difficult. Since I don't know anything about this cat, I don't want to get my cat sick. I thought the kitty had left my house but, hours later, I discovered she had been hiding under the couch (she camouflages well!). My friend and I shooed her out of the house out of concern for my own cat's comfort/health.
I've knocked on doors around the neighborhood to see if anyone is looking for her, but I've had no success. My concern is that she is from one of two neighbors that treat their animals poorly. The fact that she is pregnant is one indication that they've slacked off on good care.
Do I leave the cat outside and hope that she'll feel comfortable enough to have her kittens in the box I made (cardboard box with towel inside and "windows" cut into the sides for airflow and for lookout)? I can't catch her, so should I try trapping her and then isolate her in a room in my house? Do I call the county shelter to come pick her up? Neighbors I was able to speak with today, who live on either side of the "irresponsible" ones with lots of animals, said that they would not trust them to take care of a pregnant cat. The people who I think possibly own the cat, did not respond to my knock even though I could tell they were home. I did not look like a solicitor for sure. I don't want to come off as judgmental but I have a really sensitive heart when it comes to animals and mistreatment.
Oddly enough, I've been praying for strength to go into the local shelter to adopt an adult cat as a companion to my cat. Do I take this cat in? Is it wrong, especially if no one claims her? I'd get her neutered as soon as possible, and find good homes for the kittens (hopefully neuter them too beforehand). If I can catch her, I'd definitely bring her to the vet as soon as possible to check her health, see if she has a microchip, get her neutered, and update shots as needed. I don't think she's ever been to the vet (was just a kitten herself a year ago). I'd feel better letting her go if I know she can't have more kittens and is healthy.
Anyone with advice is welcome to respond. I am really torn on what to do.
Thanks. I'm going to try bed again now that I've gotten the kitty issue off my mind for now.
TTFN,
~e
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